The notion that you MADE anyone angry or sad or feel inadequate is nonsense. Your reader can choose their response, and they might blame you for it, but the reality is that they themselves are in charge of their emotional reactions. I do hope that the clothes and glamour was some fun for you and am very interested to see where you go next!
I came here to say this same thing. You didn't "make" anyone feel badly about themselves by being yourself, but neither did you "make" them feel empowered. I followed you on Instagram and found you inspiring. That being said, authentic sharing of the reality behind the image is always appreciated!
It morphed and it will morph again. I think that’s what many of us (older and younger women alike) look forward to; reading- and sharing with this community. It seems a very good place for Purposeful Icons, not accidental ones.
Exactly. It seems to me that some of the negative criticism was from people that haven’t followed Dr. Slater’s journey and just reacted from what they interpreted from the Times article.
Sometime during the pandemic, with time on my hands and a fretful mind, I happened upon the Accidental Icon. Beneath the novelty, the beautiful clothes and the sponsored ads, I found someone my age who was trying to navigate her life as a quasi-public persona in ground zero of arguably the worst and scariest time of our lives. Sharing your journey from NYC to upstate New York — and your reflections, soul searching and yes, reinvention along the way — was so much more than I had bargained for. It’s been a privilege and a pleasure to witness your process as I ask many of the same questions you are/have done, through my own lens (retired professional, now living in a quieter community north of my hometown of San Francisco, becoming a grandmother and vegetable gardener and finding meaning in this slower but more fulfilling life). You get no criticism from me, only plaudits for your honesty, creativity and love of beauty in all its forms. Thank you.
Lyn, I am a longtime follower of you the influencer and you the author, and I think this is one of your best posts ever. I feel your frustration. I relate to your analysis and I sense the real you. How to be old? Authenticity. Thank you.
At 71 years old, I find joy in my retirement after a fulfilling career spanning education and fashion design. My passion for clothes endures, yet I'm content not to be enslaved by fleeting trends or the intricacies of the fashion world. Instead, I believe in empowering older women to embrace their unique style, prioritizing comfort and happiness above all.
During my tenure as an educator in design, I always emphasized the significance of thoughtful design. Clothes possess the remarkable ability to shift mindsets and uplift spirits. For designers, this presents an opportunity to infuse joy into someone's day. The priceless moment when an individual feels truly great in what they wear underscores the transformative power of fashion.
I love the title of this substack. if only there was a manual or and encyclopedia for all of it. but as humans we would still probably just blunder along as we always do, learning from failure and hopefully having some success , and fun! along the way.
I liked your insta pics. it was nice to see an older woman who was creative and beautiful and old all at the same time.
media, social and otherwise has not been overly kind to women, old, large, loud, small: there is no perfect.I guess we can begin by being kind to ourselves and each other. I am 67 and large and ungainly and i love myself! carry on!
I always enjoyed Accidental Icon, primarily because I like the idea that you can be intelligent and scholarly, and instead of conforming to any one stereotype still have surprises up your sleeve (literally!). You have surprised us yet again with your pivot and I am enjoying the thought-provoking commentary!
Thank you for this post, Lyn, as well as for your observations in the NYT article and interview. I appreciate the courage you have in revealing your truth about using social media and being an influencer. For a long time, I've worried that we (as a culture) were losing our true selves while vying for attention and celebrity on various social media sites. (I wonder, too, where people find the TIME for all of it unless they don't have three-dimensional lives.) Your decision to pull back from social media validates what I've been thinking. I've been very careful and conscious of how much time I spend on social media, and feel much healthier with less of it. We need more people like you to remind us of what matters. Thank you, Lyn.
I look forward to reading your thoughts about how one could live as they age, not how they "should". Your writing style is engaging, I pre-ordered the book and look forward to seeing what appears in this sub-stack.
"When there are polarities, the truth lies somewhere in-between." In the current political climate we find ourselves in the USA, what lays heavy on my heart is how the "in-between" seems/feels invisible to the chaos polarity creates. Chaos has become an influencer that keeps this in-between middle aged mother, sister, aging parent caretaker, wife, friend, and educator awake at night. Your tenacity for truth-telling and community building gives me hope, stamina and courage to do more of the same. Thank you.
Madam, frankly, and with all due respect (which is very much) you are too hard on yourself. Your sense of style is impeccable...wish I had more of it to copy...fierce boho? But even more is that your style and your intellect are kind. You are nice, thoughtful, and kind. I have been reading you for years...do not underestimate your kindness. And do not allow naysayers or critics to ever bring you down. All are entitled to their opinion. Please remember that the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Most who like you won't comment. Thank you for being you (from a 67 year old female).
I salute you for your honesty and suthenticity! I am an avid follower and I loved Accidental Icon but, turning 70 myself in May, I relate to snd love your how to grow old.
I asked a lady I was caring for once, as she turned 99, how it felt to be so old. She replied, "it's not how old you are, it's HOW you are"! I love that!
Hi Lyn, It's Jane Spinak. Before I read a word of the Times article, I thought wow I know Lyn Slater and was quite excited to see what you've been doing in the years since you retired from Fordham. I'm not sure how to communicate directly and catch up but I figured if I responded here (to your very revealing post) you could just email me. Same address though I've now retired too. Best, Jane
Just read the New York Times article. I think it's really great how you disclose your phase of losing yourself and identity during your Instagram influencer days. What makes this even more interesting, is that those feelings were never portrayed on your Instagram feeds, perhaps because the intention of IG is the illusion of happiness and perfection in so many cases, especially when it comes to fashion and beauty branding. I mean, can you imagine your saying on an IG reel: "I'm losing myself" as you're getting paid to share brands. That would be kind of amazing to be honest, but wouldn't fly as to the perimeters you had to obey in how you shared content. Lyn, you'll always be an 'influencer' to me, whether it be fashion, writing or whatever path you choose. Congratulations on your new found happiness on and off Instagram :) Liza
I echo a lot of the sentiments here. I absolutely love what you are sharing, especially the intentionality behind it. I only started following you after I realized you were so much more than a style icon. I am so moved and inspired both by your writing and by who you are/what you do outside of what you're wearing. I'm a new subscriber (joined because I heard about your book), and I'm glad I came. So excited for the book and for your writing in general. Cheering you on!
Lynn, I very much enjoy your musings on old age. Would you come on my [B]OLD AGE podcast to reflect on what’s in your post today AND what’s in the NYT article? It’s a conversation, almost always fun and provocative. Your perspective of "then and now" is fascinating. See here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/b-old-age-with-debbie-weil/id1449776332.
The notion that you MADE anyone angry or sad or feel inadequate is nonsense. Your reader can choose their response, and they might blame you for it, but the reality is that they themselves are in charge of their emotional reactions. I do hope that the clothes and glamour was some fun for you and am very interested to see where you go next!
I came here to say this same thing. You didn't "make" anyone feel badly about themselves by being yourself, but neither did you "make" them feel empowered. I followed you on Instagram and found you inspiring. That being said, authentic sharing of the reality behind the image is always appreciated!
It morphed into something I didn’t intend and that’s what I found disconcerting.
It morphed and it will morph again. I think that’s what many of us (older and younger women alike) look forward to; reading- and sharing with this community. It seems a very good place for Purposeful Icons, not accidental ones.
Understandably!
Exactly. It seems to me that some of the negative criticism was from people that haven’t followed Dr. Slater’s journey and just reacted from what they interpreted from the Times article.
I agree.
I agree as well.
Completely agree.
Yes perhaps a bit grandiose lol. However I don’t want to play into
society’s ageist tropes and my real desire has always been to write.
Sometime during the pandemic, with time on my hands and a fretful mind, I happened upon the Accidental Icon. Beneath the novelty, the beautiful clothes and the sponsored ads, I found someone my age who was trying to navigate her life as a quasi-public persona in ground zero of arguably the worst and scariest time of our lives. Sharing your journey from NYC to upstate New York — and your reflections, soul searching and yes, reinvention along the way — was so much more than I had bargained for. It’s been a privilege and a pleasure to witness your process as I ask many of the same questions you are/have done, through my own lens (retired professional, now living in a quieter community north of my hometown of San Francisco, becoming a grandmother and vegetable gardener and finding meaning in this slower but more fulfilling life). You get no criticism from me, only plaudits for your honesty, creativity and love of beauty in all its forms. Thank you.
Love this
But I love you ALWAYS
Lyn, I am a longtime follower of you the influencer and you the author, and I think this is one of your best posts ever. I feel your frustration. I relate to your analysis and I sense the real you. How to be old? Authenticity. Thank you.
Yes… and How to Be Any Age, Authentically! Well said, @Billie Best
At 71 years old, I find joy in my retirement after a fulfilling career spanning education and fashion design. My passion for clothes endures, yet I'm content not to be enslaved by fleeting trends or the intricacies of the fashion world. Instead, I believe in empowering older women to embrace their unique style, prioritizing comfort and happiness above all.
During my tenure as an educator in design, I always emphasized the significance of thoughtful design. Clothes possess the remarkable ability to shift mindsets and uplift spirits. For designers, this presents an opportunity to infuse joy into someone's day. The priceless moment when an individual feels truly great in what they wear underscores the transformative power of fashion.
Love this: “shift mindsets and uplift spirits.”
I love the title of this substack. if only there was a manual or and encyclopedia for all of it. but as humans we would still probably just blunder along as we always do, learning from failure and hopefully having some success , and fun! along the way.
I liked your insta pics. it was nice to see an older woman who was creative and beautiful and old all at the same time.
media, social and otherwise has not been overly kind to women, old, large, loud, small: there is no perfect.I guess we can begin by being kind to ourselves and each other. I am 67 and large and ungainly and i love myself! carry on!
I always enjoyed Accidental Icon, primarily because I like the idea that you can be intelligent and scholarly, and instead of conforming to any one stereotype still have surprises up your sleeve (literally!). You have surprised us yet again with your pivot and I am enjoying the thought-provoking commentary!
Thank you for this post, Lyn, as well as for your observations in the NYT article and interview. I appreciate the courage you have in revealing your truth about using social media and being an influencer. For a long time, I've worried that we (as a culture) were losing our true selves while vying for attention and celebrity on various social media sites. (I wonder, too, where people find the TIME for all of it unless they don't have three-dimensional lives.) Your decision to pull back from social media validates what I've been thinking. I've been very careful and conscious of how much time I spend on social media, and feel much healthier with less of it. We need more people like you to remind us of what matters. Thank you, Lyn.
I look forward to reading your thoughts about how one could live as they age, not how they "should". Your writing style is engaging, I pre-ordered the book and look forward to seeing what appears in this sub-stack.
"When there are polarities, the truth lies somewhere in-between." In the current political climate we find ourselves in the USA, what lays heavy on my heart is how the "in-between" seems/feels invisible to the chaos polarity creates. Chaos has become an influencer that keeps this in-between middle aged mother, sister, aging parent caretaker, wife, friend, and educator awake at night. Your tenacity for truth-telling and community building gives me hope, stamina and courage to do more of the same. Thank you.
Madam, frankly, and with all due respect (which is very much) you are too hard on yourself. Your sense of style is impeccable...wish I had more of it to copy...fierce boho? But even more is that your style and your intellect are kind. You are nice, thoughtful, and kind. I have been reading you for years...do not underestimate your kindness. And do not allow naysayers or critics to ever bring you down. All are entitled to their opinion. Please remember that the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Most who like you won't comment. Thank you for being you (from a 67 year old female).
I salute you for your honesty and suthenticity! I am an avid follower and I loved Accidental Icon but, turning 70 myself in May, I relate to snd love your how to grow old.
I asked a lady I was caring for once, as she turned 99, how it felt to be so old. She replied, "it's not how old you are, it's HOW you are"! I love that!
Onwards and upwards 🙌
Who you are now--and the journey you have undertaken--resonates deeply with me.
Hi Lyn, It's Jane Spinak. Before I read a word of the Times article, I thought wow I know Lyn Slater and was quite excited to see what you've been doing in the years since you retired from Fordham. I'm not sure how to communicate directly and catch up but I figured if I responded here (to your very revealing post) you could just email me. Same address though I've now retired too. Best, Jane
Just read the New York Times article. I think it's really great how you disclose your phase of losing yourself and identity during your Instagram influencer days. What makes this even more interesting, is that those feelings were never portrayed on your Instagram feeds, perhaps because the intention of IG is the illusion of happiness and perfection in so many cases, especially when it comes to fashion and beauty branding. I mean, can you imagine your saying on an IG reel: "I'm losing myself" as you're getting paid to share brands. That would be kind of amazing to be honest, but wouldn't fly as to the perimeters you had to obey in how you shared content. Lyn, you'll always be an 'influencer' to me, whether it be fashion, writing or whatever path you choose. Congratulations on your new found happiness on and off Instagram :) Liza
I echo a lot of the sentiments here. I absolutely love what you are sharing, especially the intentionality behind it. I only started following you after I realized you were so much more than a style icon. I am so moved and inspired both by your writing and by who you are/what you do outside of what you're wearing. I'm a new subscriber (joined because I heard about your book), and I'm glad I came. So excited for the book and for your writing in general. Cheering you on!
Lynn, I very much enjoy your musings on old age. Would you come on my [B]OLD AGE podcast to reflect on what’s in your post today AND what’s in the NYT article? It’s a conversation, almost always fun and provocative. Your perspective of "then and now" is fascinating. See here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/b-old-age-with-debbie-weil/id1449776332.
It's also on Substack: https://debbieweil.substack.com/podcast