I never considered myself old until, at the age of 79, I developed a rare illness which required a strong medicine which took away my ability to walk, rise from a chair or even get out of bed. Weight gain was a given on this med. I developed Cushing syndrome which eliminated all attractiveness and good body image.
I am now 82 and have been off the drug for almost a year and am still trying to correct side effects. Shoulders, hips, back, feet, neck and other various parts no long work as usual and a great deal of pain accompanies movement. My face changed. My skin and eyes changed. My tongue became super sensitive. My list of medical specialists is impressive.
I am no longer the gardener, hiker, or marathon reader. What I AM is still alive with vision and hope. I survived the inevitable depression by planning. I took my 4 adult children with me to Hawaii for a week. (My husband had passed away that year of me being 79.) We acted like we were all 30 years younger. We laughed and they helped me. We made new memories.
The new me is educating myself on topics I had no time for when younger. I am obsessed with new information. I share much with my family and 11 grandchildren. I learned to let go of many so-called friends because they were just too exhausting. I continue to repair my body and enrich my mind. I take nothing for granted. I learned that, in the blink of eye I could have lost my vision. I am filled with gratitude that I can still remain independent in my own home, our retirement dream home. I began to paint canvas and furniture.
I love this approach. When faced with an age related challenge you don’t stop. You find an accommodation, substitute something equally as pleasing or find another way to meet the same need. What a wonderful trip!
Not a book, but Julia Louis-Dreyfuss has a podcast called, “Wiser than Me”, in which she interviews older women. I’d you want some light, in your life, I highly suggest it. Especially the Isabel Allende and Carol Burnett episodes.
I am 81 and write The Granny Who Stands on her Head, which is also the title of my most recent book (subtitled: Reflections on Growing Older). I do, in fact, stand on my head and have done so for the last 30 or so years in my weekly yoga class. I am very interested in the state of being old, which I discovered I really like (which is what the book is all about), but I have a 98 year old friend, with absolutely all her marbles, who says you aren't old until you're 90. She may be right or she may be wrong, but it does put a whole new spin on the issue!
Important point. The number is meaningless in a sense. Well-being at any age is related to what kind of privilege you have when it comes to health, both physical and mental and implicates access to healthcare, economic and residential security, supports and relationships in your life. I feel so much gratitude for my privilege and seek to use it to benefit others.
I completely agree that health is the main thing. Younger people need to learn that being old doesn't necessarily mean being constantly ill (although it can). I never dreamt I would be as fit as I am at my age as I was never good at sports and therefore, was never the sporty type. And, separately, never knew an old person who was particularly fit and able, because most old people in those days were very un-mobile.
But my gosh, there are so many good things about being old, which I think old people take for granted. We are so much more confident, so much more comfortable in our own bodies, feel so much free-er (?) to say what we think and do what we want. Hooray. It's worth so much, next to a few wrinkles and grey hair and forgetfulness.
Good to see you on here again. Almost every book I read makes me want to write, regardless of subject or content. I am constantly examining writing style, pitch, plot (if it's fiction), structure - everything. I'm 68 this year and learning to be old too. It doesn't matter what you do or how active you are, there's no getting away from the years. I'm learning to treat them as friends, with everything they can teach me, and support me to live this life I am in now. I've enjoyed your transition from 'icon' to 'Old' tin your writing and hope you continue to amuse and enlighten and engage us.
You might enjoy The Making of an Old Soul by Carol Orsborn. She speaks directly to many of the issues that you describe.
I too, am uncomfortable with the word retirement, and the associations it evokes. I did a bit of research and saw that it is derived from the French “retirer”. which means to withdraw from battle!
I prefer the word “redirect”, which was suggested to me by someone that I met in a breakout group in an online course on conscious aging. I like the idea that I am redirecting my energies and attention, as opposed to withdrawing from life.
Thanks for the atta girl! I’ve just started a Substack called Spiritual Aging. As soon as I figure out how to cross -promote, I’ll recommend this wonderful work you’re doing!
I've been reading "To See Takes Time" which is the book the MOMA published for their current Georgia O'Keeffe exhibit. I've read many books about her life and I am still fascinated by her willingness to live life to the fullest at any age. She flourished right up until the end and was constantly reinventing her work. A wonderful role model for me as I get older.
I just read this piece out loud. I don't usually spontaneously do such a thing. I read it slowly and deliberately and felt the words resonate.. in a more visceral way than if I had read them in silence. I don't know why I was moved to do this... It was like the opposite of scrolling and it was delicious. These were the perfect words for me to vocalize today and I want to thank you. I am 61 and well into a radical transformation of life and being as I have known it - I was fired from my job of 18 years about a year ago and that has clearly been an enormous gift and impetus for me to create a life that I want to be navigating. It's getting interesting 😁
I was fired at age 50 from a job I had had for 14 years. It’s quite a kick in the pants and one of the hardest- and ultimately best- things in my life. Now, at 70, I retired after running a company for 15 years. These opportunities to evolve and grow are remarkable and, to me, one of the most incredible parts of ageing.
I am thrilled that you found your shed. I have a shed. It's my desk in my bedroom. I "retired" - oh, that word! At 70, I moved on. Literally, I moved to Cuenca, the jewel of Ecuador. I have always believed that my life would improve with age...and it has. It has taken me years to find myself and now I'm happy I have. Your writing has always captivated me, and thank you so much for taking us along from NYC to your new life. Gracias
I told others this today: “I am solo at a patio Ed and I frequented near the cemetery where he is now buried. Don’t let anyone say you can’t do things differently and enjoy life. It ain’t easy but we can do it. I believe Ed and Hannah are cheering me on from their sanctuary in the sky despite my tears here on earth💕”
Greetings Lyn.....I love the whole approach and personal gain that I received from your micro-blog today in DISPATCHED FROM THE SHED. Thank you for that!
My mind of late is all over the place with creative ideas and desires of new challenge’s that I wake to daily. And yet, like the yellow that stains your finger tips in pursuit of dwarfing the pestilent white dandruff of the maturing dandelion, all my ambitious excitement goes up, up and away with the dandelions dandruff. Never lost.... just picked up with the wind and relocated into the next days repetitious thoughts, rendering once again a negative result.
Short of a year ago the devastating lose of my baby sister left me mentally paralyzed as I was standing on the precipice of turning 70 and staring down an empty barrel of life. We all have, or will, lose a particular loved one during our life flight, that we may find most exceptionally difficult. Sadly, now happens to be that time for me.
Reading your micro-blog today struck me in a healing sense, as you described the difference of your life today, moving into the next, most fully present wonderful you. I have followed your journey for several years seeing a large part of myself in your evolution through life. Today I step away with an insightful message that may be just the key to unlocking my paralyzed being. Many times it takes only one word or statement that falls differently onto a deaf ear and the ear shall hear again. Thank you for the power of sound with your micro-blog today. ❤️
Thank you for being open. Grief takes time and appears in many ways and forms. The loss of my mother paralyzed me so I understand. I’ve had to be patient about it.
I am reading Scottish and UK mystery fiction. It is complete escapism and I love learning more about the area the pile of fake dead bodies notwithstanding. I have just begun to write again after a many month hiatus. My second daughter is riddled with cancer and since I mostly write memoir and what in have heard called confessional poetry,it has been too tender to prod reality. So I don't. Until I read about a book maker who uses the online app called 750 words and I thought I would give it a whirl. Like artist pages only not so many rules and I can do it on my phone. Good to see you here and love the topic of aging out loud. I am 66 and aging is a gdamned gift.
Thank you very much, for yet another wonderful article and congratulations on your latest book and the joy you must get from your interaction with your grandson. I am 71 years young as I like to say. I am kept busy supporting my granddaughters with their many activities. One of whom has additional needs, and I feel very fortunate to be a part of her world, as it’svery creative. I am not a writer, and started a journal regarding my journey as an 11 year old girl from the Island of Barbados to London. Admittedly, I haven't given it much attention recently and have decided, that now my granddaughters are on School holidays, I will apply myself more, and you have inspired me to crack on. I find the process at times quite overwhelming and emotional. My brother, who is an author, told me that's the best time to write, but somehow I resisted, so I thank you once again for your encouragement.
The book that I am reading at the moment is Scattered Minds by Gabor Mate. Although it's about ADD (attention deficit disorder). I do believe that our minds can all too often be Scattered, as we are juggling many plates all at once. I quite like the idea of a coffee morning and would definitely join in.
How wonderful you are allowing yourself the pleasure of writing. While at times when dealing with hard emotions it doesn’t feel like pleasure but at he end it provides closure and with that comes peace.
Hi Lynn, just discovered you here. Nice to see you are seeking alternatives. It’s funny I happened on this article today because I was just reading somewhere else where a woman was speaking about Anaïs Nin in the early 1920s. She was recalling how she took a trip to Mexico and was amazed at the quality of life.
No striving, no rushing, just living and soaking it all in.
Sounds like more of what we should be doing these days.
I am like you...I am always doing something. My Father passed this trait on to me he said,"As soon as I sit down I will probably die." For him, it was Cancer that slowed him down.I am not sure what motivates me to do more...I have been going through therapy for 9 months now and I understand more about myself and my motivations except for this. Perhaps the idea of being useful, of contributing in some way, or is it a compulsion to finish the never ending to do list? Balance is difficult for overachievers! Congratulations on writing a book and helping to raise your grandchild!!! You inspire me!
I loved reading your post! There are so many thoughts, it seems we have in common.
The last books I`ve read have been about the topic IKIGAI. From the bottom of my heart I am a minimalist in mind - but not always in my environment. Getting older I have the urge to get rid of all the unnecessary: things, situations, contacts, aso.
So - I wish you a perfect jump into this new week - and a big hug from Good old Germany.
I never considered myself old until, at the age of 79, I developed a rare illness which required a strong medicine which took away my ability to walk, rise from a chair or even get out of bed. Weight gain was a given on this med. I developed Cushing syndrome which eliminated all attractiveness and good body image.
I am now 82 and have been off the drug for almost a year and am still trying to correct side effects. Shoulders, hips, back, feet, neck and other various parts no long work as usual and a great deal of pain accompanies movement. My face changed. My skin and eyes changed. My tongue became super sensitive. My list of medical specialists is impressive.
I am no longer the gardener, hiker, or marathon reader. What I AM is still alive with vision and hope. I survived the inevitable depression by planning. I took my 4 adult children with me to Hawaii for a week. (My husband had passed away that year of me being 79.) We acted like we were all 30 years younger. We laughed and they helped me. We made new memories.
The new me is educating myself on topics I had no time for when younger. I am obsessed with new information. I share much with my family and 11 grandchildren. I learned to let go of many so-called friends because they were just too exhausting. I continue to repair my body and enrich my mind. I take nothing for granted. I learned that, in the blink of eye I could have lost my vision. I am filled with gratitude that I can still remain independent in my own home, our retirement dream home. I began to paint canvas and furniture.
I miss the old me. The new me is tired.
I love this approach. When faced with an age related challenge you don’t stop. You find an accommodation, substitute something equally as pleasing or find another way to meet the same need. What a wonderful trip!
Not a book, but Julia Louis-Dreyfuss has a podcast called, “Wiser than Me”, in which she interviews older women. I’d you want some light, in your life, I highly suggest it. Especially the Isabel Allende and Carol Burnett episodes.
I’ve heard it’s good, I’ll give it a listen
Oh that sounds good, thanks for pointing to it!
I am 81 and write The Granny Who Stands on her Head, which is also the title of my most recent book (subtitled: Reflections on Growing Older). I do, in fact, stand on my head and have done so for the last 30 or so years in my weekly yoga class. I am very interested in the state of being old, which I discovered I really like (which is what the book is all about), but I have a 98 year old friend, with absolutely all her marbles, who says you aren't old until you're 90. She may be right or she may be wrong, but it does put a whole new spin on the issue!
Important point. The number is meaningless in a sense. Well-being at any age is related to what kind of privilege you have when it comes to health, both physical and mental and implicates access to healthcare, economic and residential security, supports and relationships in your life. I feel so much gratitude for my privilege and seek to use it to benefit others.
I completely agree that health is the main thing. Younger people need to learn that being old doesn't necessarily mean being constantly ill (although it can). I never dreamt I would be as fit as I am at my age as I was never good at sports and therefore, was never the sporty type. And, separately, never knew an old person who was particularly fit and able, because most old people in those days were very un-mobile.
But my gosh, there are so many good things about being old, which I think old people take for granted. We are so much more confident, so much more comfortable in our own bodies, feel so much free-er (?) to say what we think and do what we want. Hooray. It's worth so much, next to a few wrinkles and grey hair and forgetfulness.
Good to see you on here again. Almost every book I read makes me want to write, regardless of subject or content. I am constantly examining writing style, pitch, plot (if it's fiction), structure - everything. I'm 68 this year and learning to be old too. It doesn't matter what you do or how active you are, there's no getting away from the years. I'm learning to treat them as friends, with everything they can teach me, and support me to live this life I am in now. I've enjoyed your transition from 'icon' to 'Old' tin your writing and hope you continue to amuse and enlighten and engage us.
Adventures!
You might enjoy The Making of an Old Soul by Carol Orsborn. She speaks directly to many of the issues that you describe.
I too, am uncomfortable with the word retirement, and the associations it evokes. I did a bit of research and saw that it is derived from the French “retirer”. which means to withdraw from battle!
I prefer the word “redirect”, which was suggested to me by someone that I met in a breakout group in an online course on conscious aging. I like the idea that I am redirecting my energies and attention, as opposed to withdrawing from life.
A much better word!
Thanks for the atta girl! I’ve just started a Substack called Spiritual Aging. As soon as I figure out how to cross -promote, I’ll recommend this wonderful work you’re doing!
I've been reading "To See Takes Time" which is the book the MOMA published for their current Georgia O'Keeffe exhibit. I've read many books about her life and I am still fascinated by her willingness to live life to the fullest at any age. She flourished right up until the end and was constantly reinventing her work. A wonderful role model for me as I get older.
Reinvention is such a future oriented hopeful process
I just read this piece out loud. I don't usually spontaneously do such a thing. I read it slowly and deliberately and felt the words resonate.. in a more visceral way than if I had read them in silence. I don't know why I was moved to do this... It was like the opposite of scrolling and it was delicious. These were the perfect words for me to vocalize today and I want to thank you. I am 61 and well into a radical transformation of life and being as I have known it - I was fired from my job of 18 years about a year ago and that has clearly been an enormous gift and impetus for me to create a life that I want to be navigating. It's getting interesting 😁
Thank you so much, you made my day!
I was fired at age 50 from a job I had had for 14 years. It’s quite a kick in the pants and one of the hardest- and ultimately best- things in my life. Now, at 70, I retired after running a company for 15 years. These opportunities to evolve and grow are remarkable and, to me, one of the most incredible parts of ageing.
Agree!
I am thrilled that you found your shed. I have a shed. It's my desk in my bedroom. I "retired" - oh, that word! At 70, I moved on. Literally, I moved to Cuenca, the jewel of Ecuador. I have always believed that my life would improve with age...and it has. It has taken me years to find myself and now I'm happy I have. Your writing has always captivated me, and thank you so much for taking us along from NYC to your new life. Gracias
Congrats on your move!
I told others this today: “I am solo at a patio Ed and I frequented near the cemetery where he is now buried. Don’t let anyone say you can’t do things differently and enjoy life. It ain’t easy but we can do it. I believe Ed and Hannah are cheering me on from their sanctuary in the sky despite my tears here on earth💕”
Sorry for your loss and admire your stance.
Greetings Lyn.....I love the whole approach and personal gain that I received from your micro-blog today in DISPATCHED FROM THE SHED. Thank you for that!
My mind of late is all over the place with creative ideas and desires of new challenge’s that I wake to daily. And yet, like the yellow that stains your finger tips in pursuit of dwarfing the pestilent white dandruff of the maturing dandelion, all my ambitious excitement goes up, up and away with the dandelions dandruff. Never lost.... just picked up with the wind and relocated into the next days repetitious thoughts, rendering once again a negative result.
Short of a year ago the devastating lose of my baby sister left me mentally paralyzed as I was standing on the precipice of turning 70 and staring down an empty barrel of life. We all have, or will, lose a particular loved one during our life flight, that we may find most exceptionally difficult. Sadly, now happens to be that time for me.
Reading your micro-blog today struck me in a healing sense, as you described the difference of your life today, moving into the next, most fully present wonderful you. I have followed your journey for several years seeing a large part of myself in your evolution through life. Today I step away with an insightful message that may be just the key to unlocking my paralyzed being. Many times it takes only one word or statement that falls differently onto a deaf ear and the ear shall hear again. Thank you for the power of sound with your micro-blog today. ❤️
Respectfully,
Sunny Normand~ Artist and avid follower.
Thank you for being open. Grief takes time and appears in many ways and forms. The loss of my mother paralyzed me so I understand. I’ve had to be patient about it.
I am reading Scottish and UK mystery fiction. It is complete escapism and I love learning more about the area the pile of fake dead bodies notwithstanding. I have just begun to write again after a many month hiatus. My second daughter is riddled with cancer and since I mostly write memoir and what in have heard called confessional poetry,it has been too tender to prod reality. So I don't. Until I read about a book maker who uses the online app called 750 words and I thought I would give it a whirl. Like artist pages only not so many rules and I can do it on my phone. Good to see you here and love the topic of aging out loud. I am 66 and aging is a gdamned gift.
I have a huge collection of UK mystery fiction writers. Healing thoughts to you and your daughter. Love your structure to let yourself write.
Thank you very much, for yet another wonderful article and congratulations on your latest book and the joy you must get from your interaction with your grandson. I am 71 years young as I like to say. I am kept busy supporting my granddaughters with their many activities. One of whom has additional needs, and I feel very fortunate to be a part of her world, as it’svery creative. I am not a writer, and started a journal regarding my journey as an 11 year old girl from the Island of Barbados to London. Admittedly, I haven't given it much attention recently and have decided, that now my granddaughters are on School holidays, I will apply myself more, and you have inspired me to crack on. I find the process at times quite overwhelming and emotional. My brother, who is an author, told me that's the best time to write, but somehow I resisted, so I thank you once again for your encouragement.
The book that I am reading at the moment is Scattered Minds by Gabor Mate. Although it's about ADD (attention deficit disorder). I do believe that our minds can all too often be Scattered, as we are juggling many plates all at once. I quite like the idea of a coffee morning and would definitely join in.
Regards
Margaret (Maggie)
How wonderful you are allowing yourself the pleasure of writing. While at times when dealing with hard emotions it doesn’t feel like pleasure but at he end it provides closure and with that comes peace.
So glad you're back! kate
Hi Lynn, just discovered you here. Nice to see you are seeking alternatives. It’s funny I happened on this article today because I was just reading somewhere else where a woman was speaking about Anaïs Nin in the early 1920s. She was recalling how she took a trip to Mexico and was amazed at the quality of life.
No striving, no rushing, just living and soaking it all in.
Sounds like more of what we should be doing these days.
I am like you...I am always doing something. My Father passed this trait on to me he said,"As soon as I sit down I will probably die." For him, it was Cancer that slowed him down.I am not sure what motivates me to do more...I have been going through therapy for 9 months now and I understand more about myself and my motivations except for this. Perhaps the idea of being useful, of contributing in some way, or is it a compulsion to finish the never ending to do list? Balance is difficult for overachievers! Congratulations on writing a book and helping to raise your grandchild!!! You inspire me!
Thank you. Happy to have company on the search for balance.
Hi Lyn,
I loved reading your post! There are so many thoughts, it seems we have in common.
The last books I`ve read have been about the topic IKIGAI. From the bottom of my heart I am a minimalist in mind - but not always in my environment. Getting older I have the urge to get rid of all the unnecessary: things, situations, contacts, aso.
So - I wish you a perfect jump into this new week - and a big hug from Good old Germany.
Maria
A hug back.