Right now I have too many clothes, too many shoes, too many jobs, too many half read books and too many stress induced pints of ice cream under my belt. Yet here I am on my phone, my eye caught while browsing Instagram by a pair of blue suede tassel loafers. I go to the website and see they sell for $500. The woman wearing these shoes lives in Paris and is the epitome of class and style. Around my age, confident in it as evidenced by her long white mane and her healthy management of the shift in weight that comes with age, she wears Dior vintage jeans, Hermès belts, and her cashmeres with a casualness that shows it is no big thing for her to be old or dress this way. In fact, for her it just is. Her ingredients when composing a look are essentials: jeans, scarf, sweater, loafers, sometimes velvet slippers. She wears no make-up, choosing instead to present a “face” that is just a healthy glow. Unlike me, she settles securely into her class, her privilege an accessory she wears easily. My grandmother walked in the world the same way. I, in contrast, wear my privilege like a stone in an ill-fitting shoe; something that always feels uncomfortable and never able to find my right size. However, it serves the function of reminding me it is there.
I grew up with a mother who only wore haute couture. We lived 20 minutes outside of Manhattan in the too wealthy, too white, too Republican town of Short Hills, NJ. She taught me color, blend don't match , simple yet elegant style. She was teeny tiny - probably a 0 or 2 in today's sizes. I always felt like a big golden retriever puppy by her side. When I went off to college we spent the day in Berghdorf's shopping for a college wardrobe. She treated me to Missoni, Yves St. Laurent, Rive Gauche (the cheaper line) and Polo Ralph Lauren (even though she preferred the French and Italian designers). When she died, all too young at 65 from Pulmonary Fibrosis, my father sorted her clothing into 5 rooms and my sister, two sisters in laws and myself had a blast going through it and taking what we most loved. One room had only cashmere sweaters, (from London of courser) another had silk blouses and skirts and dresses. Her wonderful hand made Italian shoes were way too small to don any of our big feet. I grabbed the cashmere, a reversible Missoni raincoat and a few skirts that I could squeeze into. We each got a fur coat. Mine was mink (since given to my daughter) and I also got a mink stole that I turned into a fetching winter hat. My mother was always proper in her dress and had some interesting rules. Don't show your upper arms over thirty years of age was one of them. When I moved to the South in 1984 I saw that rule no longer ruled. Older Southern women showed it all off with sleeveless, bust lifting and boob enhancing colorful long dresses. I was delighted! I've lived in the south ever since - having retired to an island outside of Charleston, SC. I cannot afford what my mother purchased. I tend to buy used vintage or small investments in clothing I love it, however and wear it with aplomb!!! I adore your column!!
I have been following you and Linda V Wright for several years now. I was initially drawn to her because I’m from the same area of TX, and well, she appears to be living the quintessential life I’ve always dreamed of. However, recently I’ve found my draw towards both of you because of the authentic way you present yourselves. I can’t think you enough for your thoughtful and honest posts. They are truly inspiring and relatable. Thank you Lyn! I look forward to many more!
I read your piece and all kinds of bells went off inside my head. I recalled the shopping diet of 18 months that my daughter and I went on about 12 years ago. The trigger for that was I had dropped about $500 on clothes at Coldwater Creek on my birthday and felt as gluttonous as if I had consumed 100 pints of vanilla swiss almond ice cream. How liberating it was to stop incurring credit card bills for clothes I didn't need -- and how quickly I learned if I just threw out (withOUT looking through them) the many catalogs that found their way to my mailbox, I wouldn't even know what I was missing. We have recently been talking about doing it again as we both have accumulated way too much stuff once more.
As a kid, practicality ruled our fashion choices of necessity. My mother would choose a navy coat for me over something more pastel-y and 'cute.' It wouldn't show the dirt. I didn't have a different dress for every day of the school week (this was the 50s and 60s). I remember coveting some of the pretty dresses some (wealthier) school mates wore. Changing out of school clothes the minute we walked through the door was necessary to preserve them as long as possible.
Growing up in the sixties, one fashion trend I bought into was mini skirts. By the time I was 15, my mantra was - the shorter the better. Hot pants and sizzle skirts were my fashion choices and because I was earning my own money, I could buy them. This was about the time our rural school began to allow girls to wear pants at all. Speaking of pants.... hip huggers. The lower the better. [Now you couldn't pay me to wear them because all those stress-induced pints of ice cream and cinnamon jelly beans have taken up residence in my midriff.]
Basically for all of my adult life and now (I also am approaching 70), I claim no class or style. I own a couple of coach bags but that is because my daughter gave them to me (purchased at coach outlet). Once I paid $350+ for a pair of Italian leather shoes. I remember standing on a street corner in Manhattan calling my daughter on my cell phone to tell her what I had done. I was in shock, to be honest. Couldn't believe I had actually done it. The occasion: I was going to work at the same university where you spent many years, needed to be on my feet a lot in the job, had a history of unrelenting foot pain -- and so I had gone to be fitted for orthotics -- and the store where I bought them also sold expensive shoes (imagine that).... once the salesperson cradled my foot in my new orthotics and those buttery leather shoes, I knew what heaven felt like. I wore those shoes daily for years, having them re-soled and re-heeled on a number of occasions until they finally bit the dust.
When I retired from that same university, when people asked me what I planned to do, I told them I intended to throw out the alarm clock and wear jeans every day. And I have done exactly that. My jeans come from Kohl's or Macy's. I wear no make-up -- never did -- but that's not because I'm composing a look, lol, it's because I cannot be bothered, don't want to take the time.
Oh my goodness, I could write and write and write some more about the memories and feelings and opinions I have about clothing and fashion and people who dress to be noticed that were stirred by your entry. But I'll stop. Except to say I applaud you for dumping your cart.
I've followed Linda Wright for years; she is one of my exemplars. But there is something else: she is usually photographed •smiling•, from slightly to broadly...there's an evident joie de vivre, and energy. She looks like she is having a good time in her worn jeans and gorgeous sweaters. I am amused to read of one icon discovering another!
When I was young, unlike other folks my age, even at 20 I dressed like a 40-year old. It took me years to allow myself to wear younger styles even when I myself was young.
But today, going on 77, I sport a silver Mohawk with splashes of purple, a casual western look, often complete with cowboy boots (I own several pairs of Ariats, THE most comfortable boot even when brand new -- this is not intended to be an ad for Ariat, but a public service -- they deserve the kudos.
Currently, I am writing chapters of a book on my 50 years in Manhattan as a platform to mentor young adults.
My current avant-garde hairstyle causes young folks to run up to me and say things like: "Lady, I love your hair!" It's fun and it's about time!
Oh my I am so anxious to hold your book in my hands! I want to turn back to these thoughts of yours as my thoughts change and develop. Although you really hit a note with the idea of overconsumption of books. I'm currently feeling hungover from Christmas candy and books! The Pandemic coupled with physical ageing has changed my wardrobe drastically. Anything I purchased to wear during the great disruption was not meant to leave the house. Upon returning to the office I vowed not to purchase without plans, I would rent high quality clothing instead. After exhausting the rental closet I find that my own closet is sorely lacking. I WILL soon have to purchase. Yesterday my outfit was planned around a sweater knit by a friend's mother in 1972 (granny squares), unfortunately the matching hat & purse are long since worn out. Today I am wearing a 5yr old designer suit with a vintage Johnny Cash T shirt. Tomorrow I've planned a thrift store ensemble. My beaded jeans from 1982 have recently become pockets & the strap on my newest briefcase. How lovely it is to connect with this portion of my Tribe!
I absolutely vibe on this piece of writing from you today! It brought back so many memories that I haven't thought about in years. Since childhood Ive always gravitated towards fancy clothes, some even that more belong in a boudoir rather than on a person who has to work for a living. I have a fascination for the architecture of clothing, and since I couldn't find things that lived up to my imagination, as a young woman, I invented my clothes, and sewed them for every occasion. I fell in love with Oleg Cassini, and made a gorgeous one piece long embossed fabric dress with a hood to wear to the ballet in Saratoga when I was about 17! I made clothes so that I could have a different outfit every weekend to go to school events. When I worked in NYCity at ABC, I just couldn't wear a suit, so I wore my purple suede mini skirt from Florence, Italy, and was frowned upon as no being sophisticated! Fast forward to a job at a fragrance counter as manager, and bought my clothes on Newbury Street in Boston, mostly loving Betsy Johnson. People would come in to see what I was wearing on a daily basis, and a few times I was sent home to dress properly! No fishnets, no body suits, and certainly no piercings or tattoos at that time. After corporate jobs, I decided to become a massage therapist and have lived in yoga pants for years. You have inspired me to get my fling with clothes back on! I do dress adorable in Spring and Summer. And I too went to catholic grammar and high school, and I wear my yoga uniform! Even in massage school I could never get myself to wear chinos or a polo shirt! I had flamboyant scarves wrapped around my hips, and crystal pendants around my neck. Your inspiration today is just what I needed to get out of my habit and into my closet (overstuffed with gems) and feel pretty in my skin. Turning 71 this year did something to my outlook, and I hope you continue to post more. I feel more like 45, and just don't see many women dress freely. I don't want to feel invisible anymore, but alive, and embrace this new unknown and possibly going grey too! Thanks for your words of comfort, and heart hugs!
I love your article. My mother was also very stylish, and had many wonderful clothes. Unfortunately on her death my sister didn't believe that I should have any of her clothes, preferring to sell them, and I was heartbroken, as she had acquired such lovely items of clothing.
I turned 70 last year and my daughters gave me a wonderful party. Instead of buying a new outfit, I searched my wardrobe and found some lovely items, which I put together, as I was trying not to shop. I was complemented on my outfit, with enquiries as to where I purchased them. Most of the items were over 10 years old, including a lovely cashmere cardigan, so your mention of cashmere brought back a lovely memory for me.
I have several cashmere sweater purchased over the years, unfortunately most of them unworn, and I have no real reason for that, other than I have favourites, so I have wrapped them up very nicely and when my eldest granddaughter turns 16 next year, I shall present her with one as a present, which I hope she likes. I know that her younger sister will be very jealous, and I will let her know that she will also receive one on her 16th birthday. Regarding the tassle loafers. I decided that I could do with a new pair as my last pair is over 16 years old and on several occasions have found a pair online added them to my basket, changing my mind and wondering if maybe I could restore them in some way, as I am trying not to purchase any items this early in the New Year, and am very inspired by you deciding to empty your basket, as I believe if I search again, I could probably find a hidden gem at the back of the cupboard.
I love this! So much to think about, but I especially appreciated the sentence, "We are anchored in the present because we are deeply involved in something." At 70, that's exactly how I'm trying to live my life.
You can get an idea of how I dress by my profile photo. Everything I am wearing adds up to around $125. While I can afford expensive clothes, and wore them in the past, I refuse to spend much money anymore. The orange sweatshirt in the photo was $5.
I'd probably dress like a 5 year old if I could. I wish the girls department had outfits in my size.
At one time I had three closets; now have one.
I don't think about clothes.
Although I am told I have an interesting "look". I think I look like my paintings -- the colors and graphics.
Now at 37, I'm dabbing into "old age" with a commitment to go grey. I've had grey hair since I can remember and it just felt right to do it. 5 months into my commitment I feel a shift. Not only do I love the color and the way it fits my skin, but it challenges my inner femininity too. I don't feel old, not even close. Hell, I have a one year old daughter to remind me every day 😅 But I can't help but ponder on this passing of time that only seems to increase in speed.
I can't say I have a style. I truly don't even afford one. But I did make a choice a couple of years ago not to buy clothes that are bland. So I've managed to come across some items from COS and Arket (all thrifted of course, and at a fraction of their prize) that suit my developing style. All my "winter sweaters" as I call them, are cashmere, also thrifted, in mint condition; just simple lines and "safe" colors that go well with jeans and tailored trousers.
So I have few clothes right now, the closet is airy and a I feel light. If this is how it feels to be old, then bring it on 🤗
Hello Lyn, I am privileged to have met both you and Linda. I met Linda in Paris a few years ago and she is as warm as her writing and a smile on her Instagram.
And our meeting in Seattle still stands clearly in my mind, and I am so happy to be receiving your posts. You are always an inspiration to me, there are few people who break away from preset ideas and society molds. I am looking forward to more!
I had never heard of Linda V Wright until now. She's beautiful, but what I appreciate most are her simple hair, makeup-less face, and apparent joie de vivre.
Idea for a series of posts: Take an item from your closet and write about it. Something tells me this would be fascinating.
I grew up with a mother who only wore haute couture. We lived 20 minutes outside of Manhattan in the too wealthy, too white, too Republican town of Short Hills, NJ. She taught me color, blend don't match , simple yet elegant style. She was teeny tiny - probably a 0 or 2 in today's sizes. I always felt like a big golden retriever puppy by her side. When I went off to college we spent the day in Berghdorf's shopping for a college wardrobe. She treated me to Missoni, Yves St. Laurent, Rive Gauche (the cheaper line) and Polo Ralph Lauren (even though she preferred the French and Italian designers). When she died, all too young at 65 from Pulmonary Fibrosis, my father sorted her clothing into 5 rooms and my sister, two sisters in laws and myself had a blast going through it and taking what we most loved. One room had only cashmere sweaters, (from London of courser) another had silk blouses and skirts and dresses. Her wonderful hand made Italian shoes were way too small to don any of our big feet. I grabbed the cashmere, a reversible Missoni raincoat and a few skirts that I could squeeze into. We each got a fur coat. Mine was mink (since given to my daughter) and I also got a mink stole that I turned into a fetching winter hat. My mother was always proper in her dress and had some interesting rules. Don't show your upper arms over thirty years of age was one of them. When I moved to the South in 1984 I saw that rule no longer ruled. Older Southern women showed it all off with sleeveless, bust lifting and boob enhancing colorful long dresses. I was delighted! I've lived in the south ever since - having retired to an island outside of Charleston, SC. I cannot afford what my mother purchased. I tend to buy used vintage or small investments in clothing I love it, however and wear it with aplomb!!! I adore your column!!
I am so glad that this piece arrived when I was having my morning coffee.
It was the perfect read to start the day.
I have been following you and Linda V Wright for several years now. I was initially drawn to her because I’m from the same area of TX, and well, she appears to be living the quintessential life I’ve always dreamed of. However, recently I’ve found my draw towards both of you because of the authentic way you present yourselves. I can’t think you enough for your thoughtful and honest posts. They are truly inspiring and relatable. Thank you Lyn! I look forward to many more!
I read your piece and all kinds of bells went off inside my head. I recalled the shopping diet of 18 months that my daughter and I went on about 12 years ago. The trigger for that was I had dropped about $500 on clothes at Coldwater Creek on my birthday and felt as gluttonous as if I had consumed 100 pints of vanilla swiss almond ice cream. How liberating it was to stop incurring credit card bills for clothes I didn't need -- and how quickly I learned if I just threw out (withOUT looking through them) the many catalogs that found their way to my mailbox, I wouldn't even know what I was missing. We have recently been talking about doing it again as we both have accumulated way too much stuff once more.
As a kid, practicality ruled our fashion choices of necessity. My mother would choose a navy coat for me over something more pastel-y and 'cute.' It wouldn't show the dirt. I didn't have a different dress for every day of the school week (this was the 50s and 60s). I remember coveting some of the pretty dresses some (wealthier) school mates wore. Changing out of school clothes the minute we walked through the door was necessary to preserve them as long as possible.
Growing up in the sixties, one fashion trend I bought into was mini skirts. By the time I was 15, my mantra was - the shorter the better. Hot pants and sizzle skirts were my fashion choices and because I was earning my own money, I could buy them. This was about the time our rural school began to allow girls to wear pants at all. Speaking of pants.... hip huggers. The lower the better. [Now you couldn't pay me to wear them because all those stress-induced pints of ice cream and cinnamon jelly beans have taken up residence in my midriff.]
Basically for all of my adult life and now (I also am approaching 70), I claim no class or style. I own a couple of coach bags but that is because my daughter gave them to me (purchased at coach outlet). Once I paid $350+ for a pair of Italian leather shoes. I remember standing on a street corner in Manhattan calling my daughter on my cell phone to tell her what I had done. I was in shock, to be honest. Couldn't believe I had actually done it. The occasion: I was going to work at the same university where you spent many years, needed to be on my feet a lot in the job, had a history of unrelenting foot pain -- and so I had gone to be fitted for orthotics -- and the store where I bought them also sold expensive shoes (imagine that).... once the salesperson cradled my foot in my new orthotics and those buttery leather shoes, I knew what heaven felt like. I wore those shoes daily for years, having them re-soled and re-heeled on a number of occasions until they finally bit the dust.
When I retired from that same university, when people asked me what I planned to do, I told them I intended to throw out the alarm clock and wear jeans every day. And I have done exactly that. My jeans come from Kohl's or Macy's. I wear no make-up -- never did -- but that's not because I'm composing a look, lol, it's because I cannot be bothered, don't want to take the time.
Oh my goodness, I could write and write and write some more about the memories and feelings and opinions I have about clothing and fashion and people who dress to be noticed that were stirred by your entry. But I'll stop. Except to say I applaud you for dumping your cart.
I've followed Linda Wright for years; she is one of my exemplars. But there is something else: she is usually photographed •smiling•, from slightly to broadly...there's an evident joie de vivre, and energy. She looks like she is having a good time in her worn jeans and gorgeous sweaters. I am amused to read of one icon discovering another!
When I was young, unlike other folks my age, even at 20 I dressed like a 40-year old. It took me years to allow myself to wear younger styles even when I myself was young.
But today, going on 77, I sport a silver Mohawk with splashes of purple, a casual western look, often complete with cowboy boots (I own several pairs of Ariats, THE most comfortable boot even when brand new -- this is not intended to be an ad for Ariat, but a public service -- they deserve the kudos.
Currently, I am writing chapters of a book on my 50 years in Manhattan as a platform to mentor young adults.
My current avant-garde hairstyle causes young folks to run up to me and say things like: "Lady, I love your hair!" It's fun and it's about time!
Oh my I am so anxious to hold your book in my hands! I want to turn back to these thoughts of yours as my thoughts change and develop. Although you really hit a note with the idea of overconsumption of books. I'm currently feeling hungover from Christmas candy and books! The Pandemic coupled with physical ageing has changed my wardrobe drastically. Anything I purchased to wear during the great disruption was not meant to leave the house. Upon returning to the office I vowed not to purchase without plans, I would rent high quality clothing instead. After exhausting the rental closet I find that my own closet is sorely lacking. I WILL soon have to purchase. Yesterday my outfit was planned around a sweater knit by a friend's mother in 1972 (granny squares), unfortunately the matching hat & purse are long since worn out. Today I am wearing a 5yr old designer suit with a vintage Johnny Cash T shirt. Tomorrow I've planned a thrift store ensemble. My beaded jeans from 1982 have recently become pockets & the strap on my newest briefcase. How lovely it is to connect with this portion of my Tribe!
I absolutely vibe on this piece of writing from you today! It brought back so many memories that I haven't thought about in years. Since childhood Ive always gravitated towards fancy clothes, some even that more belong in a boudoir rather than on a person who has to work for a living. I have a fascination for the architecture of clothing, and since I couldn't find things that lived up to my imagination, as a young woman, I invented my clothes, and sewed them for every occasion. I fell in love with Oleg Cassini, and made a gorgeous one piece long embossed fabric dress with a hood to wear to the ballet in Saratoga when I was about 17! I made clothes so that I could have a different outfit every weekend to go to school events. When I worked in NYCity at ABC, I just couldn't wear a suit, so I wore my purple suede mini skirt from Florence, Italy, and was frowned upon as no being sophisticated! Fast forward to a job at a fragrance counter as manager, and bought my clothes on Newbury Street in Boston, mostly loving Betsy Johnson. People would come in to see what I was wearing on a daily basis, and a few times I was sent home to dress properly! No fishnets, no body suits, and certainly no piercings or tattoos at that time. After corporate jobs, I decided to become a massage therapist and have lived in yoga pants for years. You have inspired me to get my fling with clothes back on! I do dress adorable in Spring and Summer. And I too went to catholic grammar and high school, and I wear my yoga uniform! Even in massage school I could never get myself to wear chinos or a polo shirt! I had flamboyant scarves wrapped around my hips, and crystal pendants around my neck. Your inspiration today is just what I needed to get out of my habit and into my closet (overstuffed with gems) and feel pretty in my skin. Turning 71 this year did something to my outlook, and I hope you continue to post more. I feel more like 45, and just don't see many women dress freely. I don't want to feel invisible anymore, but alive, and embrace this new unknown and possibly going grey too! Thanks for your words of comfort, and heart hugs!
I love your article. My mother was also very stylish, and had many wonderful clothes. Unfortunately on her death my sister didn't believe that I should have any of her clothes, preferring to sell them, and I was heartbroken, as she had acquired such lovely items of clothing.
I turned 70 last year and my daughters gave me a wonderful party. Instead of buying a new outfit, I searched my wardrobe and found some lovely items, which I put together, as I was trying not to shop. I was complemented on my outfit, with enquiries as to where I purchased them. Most of the items were over 10 years old, including a lovely cashmere cardigan, so your mention of cashmere brought back a lovely memory for me.
I have several cashmere sweater purchased over the years, unfortunately most of them unworn, and I have no real reason for that, other than I have favourites, so I have wrapped them up very nicely and when my eldest granddaughter turns 16 next year, I shall present her with one as a present, which I hope she likes. I know that her younger sister will be very jealous, and I will let her know that she will also receive one on her 16th birthday. Regarding the tassle loafers. I decided that I could do with a new pair as my last pair is over 16 years old and on several occasions have found a pair online added them to my basket, changing my mind and wondering if maybe I could restore them in some way, as I am trying not to purchase any items this early in the New Year, and am very inspired by you deciding to empty your basket, as I believe if I search again, I could probably find a hidden gem at the back of the cupboard.
I love this! So much to think about, but I especially appreciated the sentence, "We are anchored in the present because we are deeply involved in something." At 70, that's exactly how I'm trying to live my life.
I am an 80 year old artist.
You can get an idea of how I dress by my profile photo. Everything I am wearing adds up to around $125. While I can afford expensive clothes, and wore them in the past, I refuse to spend much money anymore. The orange sweatshirt in the photo was $5.
I'd probably dress like a 5 year old if I could. I wish the girls department had outfits in my size.
At one time I had three closets; now have one.
I don't think about clothes.
Although I am told I have an interesting "look". I think I look like my paintings -- the colors and graphics.
I loved reading this. It was scrumptous, and I could feel that cashmere. Thank you!! (I like tassel shoes, too)
Now at 37, I'm dabbing into "old age" with a commitment to go grey. I've had grey hair since I can remember and it just felt right to do it. 5 months into my commitment I feel a shift. Not only do I love the color and the way it fits my skin, but it challenges my inner femininity too. I don't feel old, not even close. Hell, I have a one year old daughter to remind me every day 😅 But I can't help but ponder on this passing of time that only seems to increase in speed.
I can't say I have a style. I truly don't even afford one. But I did make a choice a couple of years ago not to buy clothes that are bland. So I've managed to come across some items from COS and Arket (all thrifted of course, and at a fraction of their prize) that suit my developing style. All my "winter sweaters" as I call them, are cashmere, also thrifted, in mint condition; just simple lines and "safe" colors that go well with jeans and tailored trousers.
So I have few clothes right now, the closet is airy and a I feel light. If this is how it feels to be old, then bring it on 🤗
I knew immediately who you were describing. I met her at her shop while in Paris and she is as beautiful inside as out!
Hello Lyn, I am privileged to have met both you and Linda. I met Linda in Paris a few years ago and she is as warm as her writing and a smile on her Instagram.
And our meeting in Seattle still stands clearly in my mind, and I am so happy to be receiving your posts. You are always an inspiration to me, there are few people who break away from preset ideas and society molds. I am looking forward to more!
Joanna
I had never heard of Linda V Wright until now. She's beautiful, but what I appreciate most are her simple hair, makeup-less face, and apparent joie de vivre.
Idea for a series of posts: Take an item from your closet and write about it. Something tells me this would be fascinating.