I enjoy hearing your random thoughts. Somehow, they give credence and heft to my own. Life should not be a pursuit of happiness, but rather a pursuit of awareness of all the emotions we experience in all the phases of our life -- a presence. Like you, I am a sometime caregiver to my grandchildren aged 2-5. I don't think that I could experience the joy that a young child brings (so untainted by the world), if I was not dealing with the swing of fortune that aging brings. Lucky for us, there is nothing that can unleash as much dopamine as a hug from a little one!!
A few months ago I heard about a Commonplace Book, a book dedicated to writing down quotes, ideas that impact you. I started keep "My Commonplace Book," which now includes "A goal becomes a hypothesis to be be tested."
I love that it can be multi textural too. Mine has flowers, and odd little things I kept finding from past inhabitants of my house, like calling cards. All inspirations.
I've been keeping a collection of daily quotes for years, and even started an online version of inspiring quotes paired with photos, for my friends. It's been a great source of help in these tough times.
I have been inspired by your thought-provoking writing for many years but have never had the courage to leave a comment, until today. I want you to know how much I value whatever you have to say - be it in the form of a beautifully constructed essay or a carefully curated source links to other great resources or anything in between. Please turn subscriptions on.
Thank you so much for this affirmation, it means a great deal. I am working out a kind of compromise that I think can make every one happy and also meet the needs of those on fixed incomes. More soon.
I try to be Zen about it but there are days I am so angry that this last time of my life rather than being the peaceful rest we deserve after working so hard has to be so fraught.
Sadly the world feels a less safe place than it did a week ago and the bullies are being supported by other bullies. Is this the end of democracy as we know it? On a brighter note a trip to an art exhibition yesterday inspired my imagination and will carry me through the next stage of my continuing exploration of glass art.
I love the series but it misses out so much of the process. I’ve done a masterclass with Elliot Walker, the UK entrant who won series 2. A fantastic teacher and very humble. An amazing glass talent.
Thank you so much for the link to Ness. It has definitely gotten a bit easier to 'be' in the world as I've gotten older. I have a more secure sense of the future (mine ends in death, for certain) and a more nuanced sense of the past (mine is over). Striving for better somatics whilst I am here though!
Your writing always inspires me and stimulates my thoughts to look ahead. With all that is going on, I can only say that I am grateful for people like you who live in the moment. I am retired. Took a good while to settle from that hectic, busy life. That was my joy and dread, I think. I held down two careers for more than twenty years. One day, I said, "It's Time," and walked away. One of the best decisions I had ever made. Today, I am thankful to be alive in the midst of the world we now all live. I hope you continue writing and finding interesting things to share. We love it! Believe me, you bless far more people than you know.
Hello, I am new to substacks and just downloaded the app and not sure how to find you in that?? I would like to add that as a almost 72 year woman who worked all her life and is now retired, I find that my passion is keeping life as simple as possible which includes letting my body soften, wearing comfy clothes as you mentioned, and cutting out anything unnecessary for our happiness like social media. I am also very keen to get rid of unnecessary clutter and have been working on family photos and came up with some brilliant ideas!
I find your beautiful writing very thought provoking. Your experience with aging and life adds an elegance to the process. Thank you for finding the time to share. Take care.
I loved “How to be old”, and I appreciate you taking the time to write here. I turn 62 soon and younger colleagues are always trying to guess my age?? Why ?? I’m not sure why it’s relevant. I do appreciate this community and safe space to talk about aging and…. living….. life .
Lyn - although I have been a sporadic reader, I always learn something new from your perspectives on life. Thank you for openly sharing. I appreciate you.
My significant other has just been diagnosed with stage 2 esophageal cancer. He starts chemo/ radiation next week. I will walk through the journey with him and look for the joy in life. Danny and I have only been together for 3 years and it is a punch in the gut but we will persevere.
I pray for healing for Calvin and wish you both the absolute best.
I'm so grateful that you are not charging a paid subscription right now With social security as my ony income, ( a measely one at that considering the 40 years of work I put in), or I would not be able to read your essays. I, surey like many, am in fear of losing my ssa. Then what would happen, My husband receives it too of course, but only so much to go around Life , even modest life, is so expensive now.
I love your words, "living in joy and fear". That's where I am as well.
Sending healing thoughts to you and your beloved Calvin. And Thank you so much for sharing what you do.
Not to worry, I am having the same fear about SS, it's a major percent of my current income. I will always make sure my writing is accessible to everyone and I am thinking about how I can do that.
That's the bear of wanting/needing to monetize authenticity, isn't it? Being true and honest isn't always pretty (though it can be inspiring through the right lens) -- but I do think that if readers only want inspirational and pretty, we're consuming rather than participating in a conversation. It takes courage to lean into the messy and real (challenge to self -- lean in) but the reward is to confirm that I'm not alone.
Upcoming experiment -- voluntarily leaving my job of 32 years at the end of the school year. Are my financial estimates accurate? How much time will I need to spend with other people to stay sane and avoid becoming a hermit?
I wish you and Calvin more good news, and many more years together. Thank you for the courage to share your messy authenticity.
I cannot tell you how much you helped me with this comment. When I read it I got the same kicked in the gut feeling you get when a therapist nails it and the arrow hits the bullseye.
Good questions you are asking as you prepare to retire. Lots of answers to them here by people who are at all phases of the process.
@Brenda -- It's REALLY scary. The numbers all seem to work, but still... Try a thought experiment and imagine that the decision is in someone else's hands. They say
"retire" -- how do you feel? Or they say "stay another year" -- how do you feel? When I did this, my reaction to "stay" was an immediate physical sagging and a "aww." And that's how I knew it was time, and I really really had to walk through the fear to the other side. And now! that there's so much uncertainty in our country, I'm practicing walking myself back from the Cliff of Anxiety and it's not even the end of my school contract yet (June 30)! Hang in there!
I enjoy hearing your random thoughts. Somehow, they give credence and heft to my own. Life should not be a pursuit of happiness, but rather a pursuit of awareness of all the emotions we experience in all the phases of our life -- a presence. Like you, I am a sometime caregiver to my grandchildren aged 2-5. I don't think that I could experience the joy that a young child brings (so untainted by the world), if I was not dealing with the swing of fortune that aging brings. Lucky for us, there is nothing that can unleash as much dopamine as a hug from a little one!!
I love your conceptualization of pursuit. A presence we can wear around our shoulders like a warm and comforting shawl.
A few months ago I heard about a Commonplace Book, a book dedicated to writing down quotes, ideas that impact you. I started keep "My Commonplace Book," which now includes "A goal becomes a hypothesis to be be tested."
I have been keeping a Commonplace Book before I even knew it was called that! It's a huge help - and everytime I open it, it's calming and useful.
I love that it can be multi textural too. Mine has flowers, and odd little things I kept finding from past inhabitants of my house, like calling cards. All inspirations.
I've been keeping a collection of daily quotes for years, and even started an online version of inspiring quotes paired with photos, for my friends. It's been a great source of help in these tough times.
What a wonderful idea.
Hello Lynn,
I have been inspired by your thought-provoking writing for many years but have never had the courage to leave a comment, until today. I want you to know how much I value whatever you have to say - be it in the form of a beautifully constructed essay or a carefully curated source links to other great resources or anything in between. Please turn subscriptions on.
Thank you so much for this affirmation, it means a great deal. I am working out a kind of compromise that I think can make every one happy and also meet the needs of those on fixed incomes. More soon.
Thanks Lyn and many apologies I just realised I spelt your name incorrectly!
I am definitely finding the search for balance between dread and joy a challenge! Who would ever have thought we'd be living through days like this?
I try to be Zen about it but there are days I am so angry that this last time of my life rather than being the peaceful rest we deserve after working so hard has to be so fraught.
Sadly the world feels a less safe place than it did a week ago and the bullies are being supported by other bullies. Is this the end of democracy as we know it? On a brighter note a trip to an art exhibition yesterday inspired my imagination and will carry me through the next stage of my continuing exploration of glass art.
I am a fan of glass art. There is a show on Netflix called Blown Away, I am fascinated to see what they create.
I love the series but it misses out so much of the process. I’ve done a masterclass with Elliot Walker, the UK entrant who won series 2. A fantastic teacher and very humble. An amazing glass talent.
Thank you so much for the link to Ness. It has definitely gotten a bit easier to 'be' in the world as I've gotten older. I have a more secure sense of the future (mine ends in death, for certain) and a more nuanced sense of the past (mine is over). Striving for better somatics whilst I am here though!
Ah true acceptance.
Your writing always inspires me and stimulates my thoughts to look ahead. With all that is going on, I can only say that I am grateful for people like you who live in the moment. I am retired. Took a good while to settle from that hectic, busy life. That was my joy and dread, I think. I held down two careers for more than twenty years. One day, I said, "It's Time," and walked away. One of the best decisions I had ever made. Today, I am thankful to be alive in the midst of the world we now all live. I hope you continue writing and finding interesting things to share. We love it! Believe me, you bless far more people than you know.
Thank you for blessing me today with your optimism and positivity.
Hello, I am new to substacks and just downloaded the app and not sure how to find you in that?? I would like to add that as a almost 72 year woman who worked all her life and is now retired, I find that my passion is keeping life as simple as possible which includes letting my body soften, wearing comfy clothes as you mentioned, and cutting out anything unnecessary for our happiness like social media. I am also very keen to get rid of unnecessary clutter and have been working on family photos and came up with some brilliant ideas!
I am exactly the same. So different than earlier in life when it felt more like I needed to build a nest. Now its paring down to the bare essentials.
I find your beautiful writing very thought provoking. Your experience with aging and life adds an elegance to the process. Thank you for finding the time to share. Take care.
Thank you for this.
Who knew I was living tiny experiments. A young 20 learning what dilettante meant I knew, that’s me. My only goal, a loving family.
I’ve had solid careers in massage therapy, physical therapy and real estate but always curious about everything.
Yes and more to come!
Beautifully expressed...yes, please keep adding..."curious" is such a very good word...as is liminal!! Go! and thank YOU!
I loved “How to be old”, and I appreciate you taking the time to write here. I turn 62 soon and younger colleagues are always trying to guess my age?? Why ?? I’m not sure why it’s relevant. I do appreciate this community and safe space to talk about aging and…. living….. life .
Thank you I really hope that it can be that for whoever wants to stop by.
Lyn - although I have been a sporadic reader, I always learn something new from your perspectives on life. Thank you for openly sharing. I appreciate you.
My significant other has just been diagnosed with stage 2 esophageal cancer. He starts chemo/ radiation next week. I will walk through the journey with him and look for the joy in life. Danny and I have only been together for 3 years and it is a punch in the gut but we will persevere.
I pray for healing for Calvin and wish you both the absolute best.
Right there with you in that journey. Good thoughts and healing vibes coming to you both.
This resonated with me,I'm in this space, 80+, some relief in knowing that what ever arises is neither good nor bad.
Indeed, just is but maintaining that stance all the time is challenging. working on it every day.
I'm so grateful that you are not charging a paid subscription right now With social security as my ony income, ( a measely one at that considering the 40 years of work I put in), or I would not be able to read your essays. I, surey like many, am in fear of losing my ssa. Then what would happen, My husband receives it too of course, but only so much to go around Life , even modest life, is so expensive now.
I love your words, "living in joy and fear". That's where I am as well.
Sending healing thoughts to you and your beloved Calvin. And Thank you so much for sharing what you do.
Not to worry, I am having the same fear about SS, it's a major percent of my current income. I will always make sure my writing is accessible to everyone and I am thinking about how I can do that.
That's the bear of wanting/needing to monetize authenticity, isn't it? Being true and honest isn't always pretty (though it can be inspiring through the right lens) -- but I do think that if readers only want inspirational and pretty, we're consuming rather than participating in a conversation. It takes courage to lean into the messy and real (challenge to self -- lean in) but the reward is to confirm that I'm not alone.
Upcoming experiment -- voluntarily leaving my job of 32 years at the end of the school year. Are my financial estimates accurate? How much time will I need to spend with other people to stay sane and avoid becoming a hermit?
I wish you and Calvin more good news, and many more years together. Thank you for the courage to share your messy authenticity.
I cannot tell you how much you helped me with this comment. When I read it I got the same kicked in the gut feeling you get when a therapist nails it and the arrow hits the bullseye.
Good questions you are asking as you prepare to retire. Lots of answers to them here by people who are at all phases of the process.
@Anna- I’m experimenting with retiring from education as well. I’m looking at Year and 1/2, and trying not to freak out.
@Brenda -- It's REALLY scary. The numbers all seem to work, but still... Try a thought experiment and imagine that the decision is in someone else's hands. They say
"retire" -- how do you feel? Or they say "stay another year" -- how do you feel? When I did this, my reaction to "stay" was an immediate physical sagging and a "aww." And that's how I knew it was time, and I really really had to walk through the fear to the other side. And now! that there's so much uncertainty in our country, I'm practicing walking myself back from the Cliff of Anxiety and it's not even the end of my school contract yet (June 30)! Hang in there!
So so true. Thank you for this. You can make it.
We're here to help!